I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
