In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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