Got a toothbrush?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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