so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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