At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
They have beer where we have blood.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
