hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
