I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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