No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Even my vagina gasped.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
