Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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