Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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