I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
