dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
