Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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