If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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