the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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