what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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