you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
