I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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