The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
