I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
