So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Can Purell be used as lube?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
