we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
