I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
