Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
