I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
