you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
