there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
