Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
