sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My dick has a subreddit
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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