Cold hands, warm shart.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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