We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
