I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
