Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize