I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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