Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
