According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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