Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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