I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
