i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
