This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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