You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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