i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
