You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
