Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
