I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
