I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
