Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
