doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
