i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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