he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
