matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Randomize
