these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
