have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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