why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize