we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
