After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
