i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
