I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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