your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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