It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
