She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
