i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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