let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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