Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
