I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
