Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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