Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
