its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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