Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize