We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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