I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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