what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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