shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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