Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
