I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
