I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Your penis caused this!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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