Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
