if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
