is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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