put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
